i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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