is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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