I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
