hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize