so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
