hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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