So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Come see our sink grown plant.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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