There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
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My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
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He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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