so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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