Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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