That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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