I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
and you fell through a lawn chair
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
