We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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