Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
