wanna go halves on a baby?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
