and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
