Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
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This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
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Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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