Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
