How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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