I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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