It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
