Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
