the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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