I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
