im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
