Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
