I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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