We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
