I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
