It's Friday. Sex?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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