you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
