hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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