Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
