you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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