That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
