8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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