I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
