I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
