YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
