Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
