Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize