Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
