She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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