Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
