it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
