Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
