operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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