Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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