she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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