no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
