Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
