So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She's the barista slut.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
