Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize