I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
