i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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