Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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