I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
