I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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