chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
