I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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