I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
