Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
