i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
